This was an awesome welcome at Grand Fiesta Americana, but then real life happened.
Travel writers travel a ton, but vacation rarely. Last week I decided to mix business with pleasure when attending a girlfriend’s destination wedding. Trouble is, I’m out of practice when it comes to vacations, so the huz and I were screwing up all over the place. Here’s a look at our biggest blunders.
Vacation photo bombs
It’s really hard to get a good picture of the huz and I. He’s notorious for blinking and I’m so bossy, it’s hard to get a still of me where I’m not belting out instructions.
No, dude! Turn the camera horizontal.
Eyes closed, head down. Note to self: this is a bad leg angle!
Just hangin’ with my body guard.
Why do we crook our heads at stupid angles? Why do I look pregnant? Nachos is one answer.
Getting lost on your vacation
Here’s a travel tip, if you’re diving somewhere, you should probably know exactly how to get there. Especially in a foreign country. Especially when driving at night. Especially when it’s highly likely you and your spouse might not be speaking at the end of your journey. Next time I’ll screen shot maps. Or take a cab.
If something seems too good be to true, it probably is
When you see that ad on Hotwire for the $5 a day car rental, realize it probably won’t end up being that cheap. We were super proud of ourselves for scoring a car for 5-days sub $50. When I questioned the actual $350US price tag we were presented with at the rental shop, dude at Dollar Rental told me, “Only a fool would think they’d really be able to rent a car for $5 a day.” Um, yeah.
Getting sucked into the all you can drink
We haven’t stayed at an all-inclusive for a very long time. After not counting my drinks right (doubles count for two, not one!) one night and the huz getting swept up in Super Bowl the next, we realized there’s always a price to pay even when something is “free”.
Bring an appropriate book for F*&k sakes!
What kind of a loser packs non-fiction on their beach vacation? Guilty. This was a genuine error, not because I’m a nerd, but because I’m frazzled, leave packing till the last minute and am forgetful. I suppose I am a bit of a nerd, too. If I didn’t snap up a few celebrity gossip magazines at the airport, this vacay might’ve really sucked.
Spray tan fail
When you’re as pasty white as I am, there should be no shame in admitting you get a little help in the tanning department. I don’t go for tanning beds, but I lurve me a spray tan. The tan itself was expertly applied. Like with many things in life, the problem lay with user. To avoid that fine line between au naturel and orange, I showered after getting sprayed, vigorously towelled off and rubbed lotion into my skin like nobody’s business. Sadly, I missed my feet and I rubbed so hard, I stripped much of the golden glow off. Sigh.
Forget bananas!
No matter how delicious a snack you think it might be, no matter how hungover you are when heading to the airport, never, ever throw a banana into your carry-on bag next to your not quite shut laptop. Nuff said.
Have you made any recent vacation blunders? I’d love to know what they are, if only so I can feel better about myself!
So fun when we share our imperfections-makes us more human & connected. I once booked a getaway off the internee that sounded great, hot tub etc. It was a B7B but I did not expect their kids to show me to our room and jump on the bed. We tried to find the humour in it then opened the cover of the hot tub and my hubby said-we need to ask for our money back & move on. And we did.
Now I’m wondering what was under that hot tub cover. I hope you got your money back easily!
Haha oh Jody…yeah those rental cars always get ya!
Love the vacay fail theme. My worst ever? Driving from San Diego to San Fran on the July 4th week with two sullen teens. Trapped, day after day, in a hot car on the freeways. No where to park because the entire nation was on the road around that time. Shudder.
Oh that sounds rough! Thanks so much for popping by, Val. Really looking forward to those teenage years now:)
I think you should practice how to take a photo at home more frequently, or just press the shutter all the time.